Those Who Make Passes About Glasses Lack Foresight

If you take it out your glasses ,.you looks sexy but when you take the glasses , you looks ugly :)

- Male, 24

This guy is quite the Casanova. And he's quite strategic in his sentence structure. He sounds juuuust illiterate enough for me to not know for sure whether "take it out your glasses" means a) take them out of their case for the purpose of putting them on, or b) take them out (off) my head. Granted, it remains perfectly clear that in one of these cases, he thinks I'm totes fugly. He kind of makes of wish I didn't wear glasses, because having to look at his sorry ass with four eyes is twice as depressing.

Intercourse Troll Gets Intercourse Trolled

Hey, I have always wanted to engage in intercourse with such an attractive, and interesting Asian woman like yourself. I live close to [redacted] so I figured "what the fuck, why not message you". Anyways If your not interested its no big deal

- Male, 18

Attractive? Check. Interesting? Check. Asian? Fo' sho. But Woman? Hah. If only he knew the truth! Mwhahahaha!! Freals though, "engage in intercourse" is a pretty risky line to drop. He notably didn't qualify which type of intercourse he intended (sexual, verbal, economic, etc.), so I think this would be a good opportunity to break out the trollface and reply with extreme enthusiasm, saying something along the lines of "Omg I LOVE intercourse! My mom and I did that once -- it was such a fun trip. You DO mean Intercourse, Pennsylvania, right?" o.O

Alliterative Asshat Achieves Abstinence

Alluring, Adorable, Animated, Artistic, Awesome, Astonishing, Affable, Amusing, Aijia, 
Thank you for looking ! 

You are FAR too : bright, culturally-sophisticated, saucy, attractive, stylin', ferociously literate, salacious, wonderfully entertaining, spunky, admirably studious, sizzling, deliciously curvaceous, esthetically-astute, smoochable, terrifically sexy, scintillating, endearingly animated, emoticon-obsessed, flan-fancying, seductive, delightfully iconoclastic, thoroughly vivacious, and completely beguiling, to be on this, or ANY dating site !!!!!!! 

Your, Impressed, Appreciative, and Thoroughly Smitten, Neighbor, 

[name redacted]

P.S. You really do have a terrific smile, THE largest, loveliest, eyes imaginable, and that scrumptiously fit, and voluptuous, figure : )

- Male, 50

Um, might I direct you to DateMyThesaurus.com? Also, you're 50. I'm 22. Call me scrumptious again and I'll call the fucking cops. Same goes for "delicious," "smoochable," and -- what the hell, why not -- "flan-fancying." Back off my flan you alliterative asshole. 

Fetlife Doms Invade OkCupid

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Unsolicited advice for unsolicited insulters

If you're going to message someone, first it's a good idea to make sure it's someone you WANT to speak to. Perhaps review their photos or see if you share anything in common. Messaging someone and then giving them a hard time because you discover you don't like what they stand for, because you jumped the shark before actually doing some research, will not get positive results.

For example, if you want children, don't approach that girl in the "I <3 abortions" t-shirt. It's not productive.

Okay, stupid?