Girls Can Neg, Too

Sometimes the people that message us online can come off as total douchebags, what with their creeper talk and over-zealous negging. Yet some of our friends who contribute to this blog are skilled in the art of countering the negs and dishing them right back out. Here is one fine example of such behavior:

Male, 27:
Dear girl who loves rice and beans,
Let's go home.

Friend:
Dear bearded bushman,
Will you finish up my degree for me? And then apply to grad school?

Male, 27:
Dear Asian midget,
No. And no. Although if you want to be irresponsible and put off those things in order to come out and drink alcohol with me, I will consider it.

(5'3 = midget
You = Asian
Therefore, Asian midget.)

Friend: You tall people don't even know what short is.

Male, 27: I walked around on my knees for a little bit today. That's sort of what it's like, right?

Friend: You should try that at Costco. Then you'll know what we go through.

Male, 27: I could never stoop that low.

Friend: That's a low blow.

Male, 27: Does the Wonka factory give good benefits?

Friend: Yes, but Mr. Wonka also touches me inappropriately.

An Unforeseen Turn of Events!

This conversation was submitted to us by a close friend who has dealt with enough creepers in her day to be able to handle even the most blatant advances. Observe:

Creeper: i think a few days in manhattan is what you need.

Her: manhattan sucks balls. sorry to burst your bubble.

Creeper: that's quite the hopeless reply. tragic.

Her: You know James Joyce would have hated it too. It's chock full of tourists and commercialism, unreasonably overpriced, and generally lackluster.

Creeper: i dont in fact know what joyce would have thought of new york, nor would it matter much. your list of complaints has some merit but is too simplistic. you could make these complaints about any world capital. Lackluster? I dont think so. i have complaints too (dirty, hard to forge deep connections with people, too many cold months...) but its still the best city in the world and always bursting with energy and fun. its not the only place to be. i'm not a manhattan provincial. but it's not a place to be dismissed so easily. anyway, i dont want to tour nyc with you. i want to keep you in my apartment as my sex slave.

Her: The last line actually caught me completely off guard and made me laugh out loud. Kudos. But, come on, an Asian girl sex slave? Isn't that getting a little old? Put some creativity in it and hit on a 6 foot blonde from Sweden for once.

Creeper: i thought to soften it up a little, maybe even add a :). but then i thought no, lets see if she likes the line as it is. there's a reason we keep demanding asian sex slaves. they are the best sex slaves. Olga just doesn't get the job done or there'd be a bigger market for her. sometimes you dont need to reinvent the wheel.



I'm actually not sure which is more unforeseen. The fact that he went from 0-CREEPTACULAR in a single line, or the fact that the two of them seem to have it it off :D

Message Mishap of the Day

This delicious morsel comes to us from an OkCupid insider who subsequently banned this purported 24/M/Cornell for spamming this message to many (un?)fortunate users:

"Jesus christ! I just spit my protein shake all over my damn computer! I looked through your profile pictures and now I'm sitting here hard as a rock, milk all over the place, and sweating like Amy Winehouse in a liquor store. I don't know what to deal with first! You've put me in quite the predicament, I hope you're happy."

At least he got the grammar right...sort of.

Message Mishap of the Day

Hmm. He must have hit his head pretty hard if he thinks that this pick-up line would ever actually work:

so...um...this is a little awkward but I just came across your profile and I passed out cold hitting my head on my desk so I am going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
                                                                                           - Male, 23