Message Mishap of the Day

This delicious morsel comes to us from an OkCupid insider who subsequently banned this purported 24/M/Cornell for spamming this message to many (un?)fortunate users:

"Jesus christ! I just spit my protein shake all over my damn computer! I looked through your profile pictures and now I'm sitting here hard as a rock, milk all over the place, and sweating like Amy Winehouse in a liquor store. I don't know what to deal with first! You've put me in quite the predicament, I hope you're happy."

At least he got the grammar right...sort of.