Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Alliterative Asshat Achieves Abstinence

Alluring, Adorable, Animated, Artistic, Awesome, Astonishing, Affable, Amusing, Aijia, 
Thank you for looking ! 

You are FAR too : bright, culturally-sophisticated, saucy, attractive, stylin', ferociously literate, salacious, wonderfully entertaining, spunky, admirably studious, sizzling, deliciously curvaceous, esthetically-astute, smoochable, terrifically sexy, scintillating, endearingly animated, emoticon-obsessed, flan-fancying, seductive, delightfully iconoclastic, thoroughly vivacious, and completely beguiling, to be on this, or ANY dating site !!!!!!! 

Your, Impressed, Appreciative, and Thoroughly Smitten, Neighbor, 

[name redacted]

P.S. You really do have a terrific smile, THE largest, loveliest, eyes imaginable, and that scrumptiously fit, and voluptuous, figure : )


- Male, 50


Um, might I direct you to DateMyThesaurus.com? Also, you're 50. I'm 22. Call me scrumptious again and I'll call the fucking cops. Same goes for "delicious," "smoochable," and -- what the hell, why not -- "flan-fancying." Back off my flan you alliterative asshole. 



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